The Gift That Keeps On Giving: Day 9

on the ninth day of advent, my mentwhores gave to me…

three schmoopy j2 fics to make you SQUEE!

Ain’t It Funny Sometimes

drawing by oddments

Title: Ain’t It Funny Sometimes
Author: dollydolittle
Rating: pretty much a G
Warning: Schmoop
Pairing: Jared/Jensen (duh!)
Word Count: 1, 320
Disclaimer: So not mine…
Summary: Life is funny sometimes, how you can go for so long not knowing your soulmate, and then when you find him, you can never go without him again.

Why you should read it:

They spent twenty-three years not knowing each other.

“I’m Jensen.” He held out his hand to his new co-star, expecting a firm shake. What he got was an armful of six foot four muscle and floppy hair. “Oof.”

“Jared,” Jared said, pulling back, his hands gripping Jensen’s shoulders, “This is gonna be so sweet!”

Jensen watched as the younger man bounded over to a little table set up with coffee and doughnuts and immediately shoved a cinnamon-sugar one in his mouth, barely even chewing before grabbing a powdered one. “Nice to meet you,” he murmured, feeling a little dazed and a lot bemused. ‘Supernatural’ was shaping up to be an interesting experience, and they hadn’t even started filming.

They spent five years living in each others’ pockets as co-stars, unexpected best friends, and roommates.

“I am drunk,” Jared announced.

“You are,” Jensen agreed, not quite sober himself.

Jared stumbled, arms coming up to brace himself against Jensen, who teetered a little, but remained strong. Jared grinned, pulling Jensen into a hug that had him groaning, and said, “I love you, man.”

“Whatever,” Jensen said back, expression arch, “You just want in my pants.”

He laughed, keeping one arm around his friend to fight the Vancouver cold as they waited for their ride, and deepened his voice. “You gonna let me take you home, baby?”

Jared didn’t even need to look to know Jensen rolled his eyes. “I ain’t that kind of girl, Mr. TV Star.” The SUV rolled to a stop at the curb, Cliff watching them impatiently, and Jensen shrugged him off with a quick elbow to the gut.

He wheezed, still mostly laughing, and got in the back seat while Jensen sat up front. Cliff put his foot to the accelerator and Jared leaned forward, resting his chin on the shoulder of Jensen’s seat. Jensen tilted his head slightly, whisky breath mixing with Jared’s six appletinis, and Jared chuckled again. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll still respect you in the morning.”

They spent one year apart, distracted by separate projects and not enough time.

Jensen crashed on the hotel bed, exhausted, and when the phone rang he thought about answering it, but ultimately decided moving would be a bad idea.

In the morning he listened to the message, husky voice almost drowned out by the crowds counting down in the background. “Happy New Year, jerk,” Jared said.

His fingers hit buttons without thought and the phone rang once before going to voicemail. “Happy New Year, bitch,” he said softly.

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas (Or That One Time That Jensen Almost Punched Jared Over The Perfect Tree)

drawing by trolleys

Title: It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas (Or That One Time That Jensen Almost Punched Jared Over The Perfect Tree)
Author: shiplessheathen
Notes: Comment!Fic

Why you should read it:

Jared drags him out of bed at seven in the morning to get their tree. He tells Jensen the most important thing about Christmas – next to Jesus and family and really awesome food – is picking the right tree. Jensen doesn’t pay attention to a word he’s saying. Not until he’s got two cups of coffee in him and they’re in the car and by then Jared’s quiet. The place Jared drives too is huge, an open space with trees everywhere and Jensen can see a few people already there.

Jared practically jumps out of the car, “Come on, let’s go before one of those assholes gets our tree.”

Jensen has to stop, leaning against the car for support because, seriously, he can’t stop laughing.

“You just called those poor people assholes. What happened to the Christmas spirit you were spreading back at home?”

Jared huffs, his cheeks turn red and he scrunches up his nose, “I’ll apologize to them later, can we get a move on?”

Jensen puts on his serious business face and they start searching for The Perfect Tree. After an hour Jensen’s convinced they are never going to find this elusive “perfect tree” because every tree he points out Jared goes and points out the flaws. Jensen’s ready to give up, that or punch Jared in the face.

“Jensen. I think I found our tree.”

Jensen lights up like, well, like a fucking Christmas tree. Until he sees the tree that is.

“Jared. That tree is fifteen feet tall. That tree is you. We can’t get that tree.”

Jared sulks and pouts and does everything he can because he knows what will make Jensen cave. Mostly because Jensen is prone to thinking really unsavory thoughts when Jared pouts. The whining he could do without.

“Fine. That tree. You’re fuckin’ carrying it!”

Jared smiles, bright as ever and kisses Jensen, right in the middle of the freakin’ lot with people watching and Jensen leans right into it because he can’t help it.

Later when they’re decorating the tree and Jared is beaming and Jensen can’t stop himself from smiling back at him, he’ll kiss Jared – that slow, gentle way he does when it’s not meant to go anywhere else – and he’ll think he’s really glad he let Jared get his perfect tree.

Designs On You

drawing by trolleys

Title: Designs On You
Author: Shiplessheathen
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles
Summary: Hiatus, holidays, first kisses. Pretty schmoopy,
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 1,900~

Why you should read it:
Jared starts decorating the first week of December. He puts up a wreath on their front door, Nativity set on the coffee table, strings of red and silver beads trailing up the banister, Jensen stops him at lawn ornaments. They’ve had a tree up since the end of November because really all the good trees will be gone if you don’t catch them early and doesn’t Jensen know anything. December third Jensen wakes up and the tree is decked out with ornaments, lights, more beads and a giant star on top. It actually looks really good, Jensen doesn’t say that. He calls Jared Martha Stewart and earns himself a punch.

“We’re not even going to be here for the holidays, I don’t know why you bothered with all this.”

“It’s Christmas, Jensen.”

“In that case carry on.”

Then there’s the mistletoe. They get stuck standing under it and Jared’s eyes light up.

“Oh man. Mistletoe. This is awkward.”

Jensen shoves him away and Jared laughs, long and loud, arms outstretched and hands clapping in front of him. Jensen doesn’t think it was that funny. Jared did, apparently still does because Jensen wakes up the next morning and the green sprig is hanging above the counter in the kitchen, right above the coffee maker. Jensen shakes his head when he feels Jared standing behind him.

“Jensen, dude. We got to stop meeting like this. It’s getting a little uncomfortable for me.”

Jensen spins around, takes a step back – he hadn’t expected Jared to be right there – there is nowhere to go and he bangs his hip against the hard edge of the counter. He lets out a curse under his breath and Jared moves away laughing his damn ass off.

-

“You should come with me.”

Jensen has heard Jared’s argument for this before. Jared needs to head out to San Antonio a little early to cash in on some extra family time before he takes Megan off on their little adventure. Jensen is heading out to Texas anyway. Jared’s family loves Jensen. Jensen loves Jared’s family. It would be fucking awesome.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Don’t make me change my mind, jerk.”

“It’s going to be great, Jen. My family loves you and my momma’d be pretty disappointed if my handsome friend declined her invite.”

Jensen blushes a little and Jared grins, “You’ll be heading out to Texas anyway, it’s perfect.”

Jensen already knows.

Jensen drives Jared and Megan to the airport on the twenty-third. He gets a calls from his mom on the way there, assures her that he will be on his way to Richardson by noon. Megan laughs at his exasperated Alright, momma, I’m drivin’ here and he glares at her in the rearview mirror.

“You’re not gonna get out and give a proper goodbye, Jensen? I’ma call your parents and tell them you’re being rude.”

Jensen grumbles and steps out of the car. Jared pulls him into a hug, gigantic arms pulling him in tight and holding him close. Jared’s nose is buried in Jensen’s neck and Jensen thinks he feels Jared breathe in deep. He holds on for a minute longer than is normal but Jensen lets it slide because this is Jared and he had never cared about being in his space before.

Megan watches with a small smile on her face and she blushes a little when Jensen kisses her cheek and says “Have a good time, sweetheart”.

Jensen gets a text message two hours later. Hope u survive w/o me. He smiles and shoves the phone back in his pocket.

-

Jensen’s on his parents couch watching some New Year’s countdown on the tv. He’s just finishing beer number six when his phone rings on the end table. He answers it just when Beyonce’s telling single ladies to put their hands up and he makes a mental note to fucking kill Jared for that when he gets back.

“On a scale of one to ten how much does your life suck without me?”

Jensen laughs into the receiver, “Zero, fucker.”

“Liar, you’re a liar. You’re just pissed I’m not there for you to mack on at midnight.”

Jensen rolls his eyes, “I haven’t “macked” on anyone since the nineties, first of all. And, well, as always, Jared. You read me so well.”

Jensen hears Jared’s deep laugh over the line as clear as if he were there with him, “Hell yeah. You want me so bad.”

“Sure, I was actually thinking about your dick in my ass just now.”

“That’s pretty gay, Jensen. I mean, a little hot but mostly just gay.”

“You said it was hot. Now who’s the gay one?”

“Your face.”

“Touche.”

“You, my friend, are drunk.”

“I’m not your friend. I just have to spend time with you. You didn’t know that all these years? Yes, though. I am a little drunk.”

“Hey, it’s midnight there.” Jared’s voice is softer now.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Happy New Year, Jensen.”

“Happy New Year.”

“I gotta go now. I was just callin’ to check in.”

“Yeah.”

“See you at home.”

“Right.”

“Bye.”

Jensen shuts the phone and leans back into the couch,, trying to keep the smile off his face. His momma comes in, runs a gentle hand through his hair – just like she did when he was a kid.

“You look tired, hon. Go get some sleep. Everyone’ll understand you needin’ your rest.”

Jensen smiles, she’s right. He’s tired. He heads up to his old room and throws himself on the bed without changing his clothes. He falls asleep to the sound of his family’s laughter rising up the stairs.

DISCLAIMER: TRU FUCKING FAX…ALL OF IT! SRSLY, WHY DO PPL CALL THIS FICTION? IDGI.