Sex Ed: The Commitment to Excellence

So! Just for shits and giggles, let’s see what~ Grade A~ Self-Improvement tip everyone’s favorite Life Coach, Jensen Ackles, is pimpin’ this week, Y/Y?

My Life Penis Enlargement Story
by Josh Tieden Jemsem Ankles

The purpose of sharing my story with you is to make sure that you do not make the same horrible mistakes as me. I wasted thousands of dollars on useless penis enlargement exercises and scams. Hopefully my personal 3 year story for a bigger penis will help you.

Translation: The purpose of sharing my story with you is to make sure that you do not make the same horrible mistakes as me.  I wasted so much time trying to date one of my costars just to realize I was dating the wrong one.  Hopefully my personal 4 year story about not!dating my girlfriend will help you.

STOP LAUGHING. JEMSEM R’ VERREH SRS WRITER AND THIS BE’S VERREH SRS BZNS…

Btw, you may wanna hurry up and click that link before Jensen finds out what they’re up to and shits all over it.  Not that MT and I haven’t already screencapped it for posterity. But that’s neither here nor there.  LOL, wat?

Twofer!Tuesday: HO SH-!!

AJ and I LOOOOOOOVE when you tards send us stuff

No, really.

But not when we end up needing therapy afterwards.

THAT? Is farking TERRIFYING.

Srsly, is it just me or do they look like Chad and CJ? *shrug*

Yesterday’s News, Today!: Do I need to separate you two?

~

Attention Misha Collins Barton, please backeth the fuck up. Jemsem Ackles is in town and he doesn’t like you hittin’ on his wimmin Jared. No, really. Is Jensen Ackles gonna have to top a bish?

Um, yes, yes he is. I vote he starts with Misha. Gotta ~prep~ for Big Daddy, yo!

Show & Tell: One of These Things is Not Like the Others…

Dear Jemsem- Why so serious, bb?

*pokes him with a stick*

…and would you look at those two tards in the background. LOLOLOLOL. Misha, your FACE! It’s killin’ me, dude.  Srsly, anyone else dying to know what he and Jared are scheming back there, while Mr. Srs Bzns stands up front contemplating just how he managed to draw the Brad Pitt comparison?  I feel like something epic’s about to go down, and I don’t know what…

SHU Lecture Series Presents: AHBL OzCon

SquareHead University Lecture Series proudly Presents AHBL OzCon, Sydney ’09.

Also known as the con where Jensen marked his territory…

Freestyle!Friday: Dear America-

Fanboying Jensen and Jared? YOU’RE STILL DOING IT WRONG!

Watch and learn, bitches…watch.and.learn.

So the boys are in Australia this weekend, bringing the funneh to OzCon, and they clearly both decided to bring the ultimate travel accessory.

Beards!

WUT? Just cuz Jensen’s isn’t entirely on his face doesn’t mean it doesn’t count.

Blind Item of the Week: The Deli Is Open!

Which two prime time leading actors are throwing curve balls to their fans over their ambiguous dining orientation? Apparently, these two are “lobster dinner dudes” by day, but avid “meat lovers” by night.  And they’re certainly no strangers to switching it up between chicken and beef on occasion, even opting for both at the same time.  We, OTOH, think we’ll just stick to cock poultry, thanks.

Recess: The Ultimate Fan!girl…

It’s like The Ultimate Fighter, only better. YES. This.

Well, SPRINGtime is here, bb’s.  And we? Are turning over a new leaf. Yes, that’s right…

Now we’ve been known in the past to fangirl the HELL out of Megan Padalecki.  Cuz.  Well.  She’s clearly more ossumer than Jarrud, and she be’s our favorite Padalecki.  And now…we’re thinking it’s time to spread the love, just a weeee bit further.  So, starting today, we’re gonna fangirl Jensen’s little sister, too.

Why? Cuz she’s family. Duh.

D’awwwwwwwwww!! Look at the way she looks up to her big brother. Aren’t they the cutest??!

I know, I know… we’re not supposed to like Danneel, for serious. But hey…she’s actually made up of quite a bit o’ WIN, and happens to be rather ridiculous.

Check it!

Relevant Post of the Week: Gay it Up or GTFO!

ATTENTION ALL NOOBIES AND Lisa…

Just a word of warning: engaging in conversation with a SHU Sasquatch has been known to cause bouts of epic gay love and ungodly amounts of buttsexx approval among formerly straight-laced fan!girls…oh! and occasionally, blindness… but that’s mostly Jarrud’s fault.

Him and his magical dumb hair.

Also, be forewarned that looking at pictures of Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki standing side by side has been known to cause extreme cock-envy among adult females, who are left wishing that THEY were the ones~tapping that~

…alas, we are not properly equipped. Poor us. Or y’know… whatever.

Those of you who are not yet infected, may want to avoid reading any of our posts, so as  to avoid catching the gay. Srsly, get away while you can.  Otherwise we’ll force you to watch shit like this!!…

Freestyle!Friday: Big Ballers

SO.  After all the fuss in a recent interview about not getting to spend enough time with their friends and families and not!girlfriends, due to the ridiculous schedule of SHOW…looks like the boys have FINALLY earned that downtime to go spend with their loved ones.  I mean, they’ve just spent the last nine months looking at each other every fuck minute of every day. They MUST be looking forward to seeing other faces, right?  Right.

So, first up on their list of things to do?

GOLF!

…WITH EACH OTHER.

OBVIOUSLY.

Makes sense to me… *shrug*