Afterschool Special: Piracy!FAIL

THE FOLLOWING PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS C & D, AND THE NUMBER 10…

Listen up, pirates!! It bes SRS BZNS TIEMZ!!

It’s not often that we take the time to edumacate yous guys on how not to make grown men whine cry.  So, since Jemsem and Jarrud are busy fucking like bunnies M.I.A. till Fridee, what better time than now?  SO. Welcome to our very first Afterschool Special.  Today we shall be discussing the oh-so-serious issue of illegally downloading music off the internetz for FREE, cuz who the fuck actually has $10?.

NOT THESE TWO TARDS. THAT’S FOR DAMN SURE. PFFT.

O.o

It’ll make sense in a minute…

Now.  Some of you may recall a little post we did, some time ago, called Singers ‘R Us, in which we may or may not have uploaded a certain song…recorded by a certain maker of heavenly music and his bff, known as I’m-Not-Really-A-Singer-I-Just-Play-One-On-CDs-Cuz-I-Know-If-I-Do-People-Will-Actually-Pay-$10-For-This-Shit.

Anyway…needless to say, we kinda sorta maybe definitely gave that song out to *ahem* alot of people… and maybe possibly definitely not for $10.  So, um…according to our calculations, we owe Jason approximately… hmmm…let’s see… plus four, carry the one… plus interest…oooooh, let’s just saaaaay… pfft…$12,630.  And obviously by WE, we mean Y’ALL.  Obviously.  Please to be making all checks payable to Jason Manns: Srs Maker of Music.  He also accepts Visa and Mastercard.

Srsly, y’all should really get on that.  You may think he doesn’t know, but you’d be wrong.  Jason sees everything you do and he. will. get. you.  So cough up the $10 or else this?  Could happen to YOU!

Pay attention…

The School of Jensen and Jared not so proudly presents:

Piracy!FAIL

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YO, PEEPS! WHAT’S THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU DOWNLOADING MY MUSIC ON THE INTERNET FOR FREE?  I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THAT SONG.  BABYMAKIN’ MUSIC DON’T GROW ON TREES, U KNOW?!!

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WAT?? NOTHING.  NEVERMIND THAT. HEY! I’M LOOKING FOR SOME BACKUP SINGERS TO GO ON TOUR WITH ME. Y’ALL INTERESTED?

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NOW! YOU START NOW.  GET IN THE VAN.  I’LL TAKE Y’ALL TO THE STUDIO SO WE CAN START RECORDING…

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LADIES, LADIES…MI CASA ES SU CASA.  FEEL FREE TO LOOK AROUND AND HELP YOURSELVES TO ANYTHING.  THERE’S PLENTY TO DO AROUND HERE.  DON’T WORRY ABOUT RECORDING, JUST YET.  GO AHEAD, TAKE A TOUR OF THE PLACE…

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HEY! GIRLS!  YOU TWO LOOK LIKE THE ICE SKATING TYPE! THERE’S A FROZEN POND NEARBY, IF YOU WANNA CHECK IT OUT.    

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GREAT! FOLLOW ME. POND’S RIGHT OVER HERE!

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IT’S BLACK ICE.

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FIVE MINUTES LATER, JENSEN AND JARED RECEIVE THE FOLLOWING PHOTO IN THE MAIL:

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MEANWHILE…BACK AT THE STUDIO:

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OH, THEY’RE JUST OUT BY THE POND…ICE SKATING.  HEY! YOU GUYS WANNA TRY OUT MY NEW STATE OF THE ART SAUNA? IT’S HOT. YOU’LL LOVE.

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JASON SETS THE TIMER TO A BILLIONTY MINUTES…

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AND ALL THE PEEPS ARE BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS. OR, Y’KNOW…DEFLATED OR WHATEVER.

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*END PEEPSHOW…AND ROLL THE CREDITS*

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DISCLAIMER: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AJ&MT HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS YOU DON’T GIVE JASON MANNS HIS $10. HE LURES YOU INTO THE VAN WITH CANDY AND PROMISES OF MAKING YOU A SUPAHSTAH, BUT YOU NEVER ACSHULLY GET TO BE A BACKUP SINGER…NOW DO YOU? NO. NO YOU DO NOT.  AND WORST OF ALL, HE SENDS THE RANSOM NOTE TO JEMSEM AND JARRUD, OF ALL PEOPLE.  SRSLY, JASON?  SRSLY? WHAT? CHRISTIAN KANE’S HAIR WASN’T AVAILABLE TO LEAD THIS CRACKERJACK OPERATION?  PFFT. THOSE PEEPS DIDN’T STAND A CHANCE, YO. *SNIFFLE* SO SAD.  SO, THOSE OF YOU GOING TO ASSYLUM THIS WEEKEND…I THINK YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.  *g*

PEE.ESS. WE’D BE LYING IF WE SAID NO PEEPS WERE HARMED DURING THE MAKING OF THIS PSA. LOL, WAT? NO ONE ACSHULLY EATS PEEPS ANYWAY. THEY’RE LIKE THE FREAKIN’ CANDY CORN OF EASTER.  GROSS.