Freestyle!Friday: Say WHAT, Now?

It’s Friday, bitches! Here, have some totally unreliable informashun:

“Hearing Wentworth Miller may be joining the SUPERNATURAL cast – but he’s got to lose 10 pounds to do it, according to my well placed source.”

source

O, RLY?

LOLOLOLOLOL.  Oh, SPN.  How DARE you call Wentworth a fatass? How very dare you??  And since Krip and co. have decided to ignore our demands to make CMM and Rosey, Lucifer and God, now I’m kinda hoping they cast this suave motherfucker as God…or another angel of the Lord. Cuz dammit, someone’s gotta keep Castiel’s ass in line…

And who better to do it than the original Manazon?

~FIERCE~

That’s right.  I want Worthington to play God as a campy, conniving, bitch who forces Castiel, Sam, and Dean  to do lulzy dance routines complete with JAZZ HANDS!! And if they don’t do what he says, he’ll expose all their dirty, brother-loving, demon-sucking, angel-fucking sekrits.  SIR would not approve of such shenanigans.

Camp camp campity camp camp camp!!

Alice, FTMFW!  UNF UNF UNF!!!  I’d ride that so hard…y’know, if he was into that sorta thing. *shrug*

Srsly, guise. Guise. Think about it. He may not be able to act to save his life, but consider the positive aspects…

The additional on-screen pretty:

*Goddammit, where’s Kenny?!!*

~~~~~

The cons… ok, maybe not the cons, cuz he sure as hell wouldn’t show up.  But it’s a nice thought, nonetheless.  I’m convinced that Wentworth and Misha Barton would become bffs. For serious.

~~~~~

The pretty people cry-offs between him and Jensen:

*waving at Amaury*

*pets him*

~~~~~

But most of all…the FIC, people!

Oh, three-way competitive fic, how I’ve missed you… Srsly, any fic that begins with, “Jensen had his ass in the air” is clearly one for the history books:

Digit(ally) Enhanced:

Title: Digit(ally) Enhanced

Author: missyjack

Pairing: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki guest starring Wentworth Miller

Rating: NC-17

Words: 1,189

Genre: RPS PWP

Kink of the week: Finger!porn

Warnings: Drug use

Disclaimer: It’s all true coz I saw them doing it. Or not.

Summary: Wentworth Miller and Jared Padalecki have very long fingers. Just ask Jensen’s ass.

Why You Should Read It:

“Have you got him ready yet?” asked Jared as he sat on the bed next to Went.

“Mmmn, no I could spend all day down there and he’d still be tight.” Went leaned up and licked across Jared’s lips. Jared placed a hand on Went’s head and drew him in. Their kiss was all lips to start with; Went just loved sucking and licking Jared’s mouth. Jared liked kissing across Went’s face, pressing his tongue against his dimples. Wentworth had both hands on Jared’s head, and Jared could feel those strong fingers knotting into his damp hair and pulling him in. When their tongues met, the tips played against each other as if daring the other to make the next move. Finally Jared pushed past Wentworth’s lips and started fucking his mouth hard with his tongue.

Jensen looked back over his shoulder at Jared and Wentworth. Damn they looked hot devouring each other. They were kneeling on the bed, their semi hard cocks bobbing between them. Jensen stared for a moment, fascinated to see whether their cocks would make contact. However, as delicious as the scene was, it wasn’t exactly what Jensen need right now.

“Hello? Guys? Remember me?”

Jared and Wentworth broke apart. They both looked at Jensen and smiled. Smiles that individually could bring about an erection quicker than double strength Viagra. Combined they could cause entire countries to ejaculate or spontaneously ovulate.

“Dude, we’re not all ass sluts like you. Some of us like a little foreplay.” Jared bent down and planted a sloppy kiss on Jensen’s neck.

“Mmm,” murmured Jensen, “C’mon, this little Mythbusters thing was your idea.”

Wentworth clambered across the bed so he and Jared knelt on opposite sides of Jensen’s prostrate form.

“Ok, this week’s myth – that Jared Padalecki has longer fingers than yours truly. Our judge today will be the ass of Mr Jensen Ackles.”

Hands grabbed Jensen’s buttocks and pulled them apart. He thought it was Jared’s big paw on his left cheek. It wasn’t just that his palm was the size of a baseball mitt; it was a sensation that spread beyond the physical. There might be some dispute over whose fingers were longest, but no-one could hold him in the palm of their hand like Jared could.

“Now, no peeking sweet cheeks.” Jared drawled.

“Welcome mystery finger number one,” Went added.

Jensen felt warm breath and the dribble of spit between on his ass.  A thick finger pressed against his tight entrance and Jensen concentrated on relaxing. As he slowed his breathing he felt the pressure increase.

Jared pressed forward with his first finger. He nodded to Went who leant forward and squeezed some lube down, covering both hand and ass. Jared’s thick finger moved inwards slightly, but he was met with firm resistance.

A pulse throbbed in Jensen’s cock and his ass. As much as he wanted this, his body always put up some token struggle. But Jensen was prepared, and stretched out a hand for a small brown bottle on the bedside table. He unscrewed the lid and placed the opening to his nose, taking a deep hit from first one nostril and then the other. He carefully replaced the lid, but clasped the bottle in one hand in case he needed it again. Ten seconds later the amyl hit his brain, and Jensen felt both his mind and his ass open.

Jared’s finger was suddenly able to move deeper and, as it did, he moved it in a circle, stroking around the smooth ring of muscle inside Jensen. His cock hardened at the sight of Jensen’s ass stretching to take him. Jared pumped his finger in and out slowly, feeling any barriers Jensen had erected melting away. He withdrew his finger and curled his fingers into his palm, leaving the long stiff middle finger on its own. Without warning he plunged it into Jensen, who stifled a deep moan in the pillow. His finger thrust in deeply and for a few moments Jared fucked him relentlessly with it. As he felt Jensen start to push back onto his hand, he pulled out and nodded to Went.

“And now Digit the Second”.

Jensen had no trouble accepting the second finger. Head still light from the amyl, he felt like he was sucking it in. Was it Jared or Went’s ? Was it longer than the first? Did he fucking care? Jensen felt the finger move inwards, but rather than pumping into him, it stopped and started curling around, caressing his warm moistness. It stroked and searched around, until it found the spot it was looking for. The finger pressed harder and Jensen’s moans confirmed the accuracy of the location

“So,” said Went.

“Finger One or Finger two?” said Jared.

It took a moment for Jensen to find the power of coherent speech.

“I think, in the interests of fairness I need a side-buy-side comparison” he said wickedly, and took another hit from the small bottle in preparation.

~~~~~

And let’s not forget about WENSEN, y’all.  Oh, snap!  Jared Padalecki better watch his back…or Jensen’s ass.  Whichever.

DISCLAIMER: SHOW NEEDS MOAR POINTLESS NUDITY.  AND. WELL…

WORTHINGTON AIN’T NEVER BEEN SHY ABOUT SHOWING OFF HIS ASSETS. JUST SAYIN…