Psychology 101: Dream Analysis – Session 3
November 1, 2009
Oooooh, snap. It’s about that time again, y’all. I know it’s been awhile since we’ve done one of these. But just so we’re clear, the dreams are still retarded as ever. There’s a reason we tend to keep our crazy to ourselves. Well…usually. But this dream seems to be quite fitting for the time being. So, we figured we’d go ahead and let y’all have at it.
Seeing as how I was on the couch in round 2, allowing Jensen Ackles to convince me that Corona Light can, in fact, run a small car, it now be’s Dr. M-Tizzle’s turn to show her crazy spill her soul. Let’s go!
Dr. A-Jizzle: Alright hooker, find your way to the couch and let’s get this party started.
Dr. M-Tizzle: I think I’ll stand. I feel like acting this one out.
Dr. A-Jizzle: You gonna do a pantomime, bb? We playin’ charades??
Dr. M-Tizzle: Just shut up and analyze. Ok. So, we were in Jared’s house, you and I. And we were chilling on the sofa with Jensen, watching football.
Dr. A-Jizzle: Oh! Who was playing? Cowboys??
Dr. M-Tizzle: Not American football.
Dr. A-Jizzle: So soccer, then.
Dr. M-Tizzle: Yes. REAL football. *eyeroll* So. We were having this big debate about football being football, and American football being something else. And you were like, “Noooooo, it’s soccer.”
Dr. A-Jizzle: Well, it is.
Dr. M-Tizzle: And Jensen and I were like, “Don’t be hatin’ on our Britishness.”
Dr. A-Jizzle: Ahahahahaha. Who the fuck does he think he is? Madonna?
Dr. M-Tizzle: Innorite!!? So, I was like, “YOU’RE BRITISH NAO?” lololol. And he wasn’t. But I guess he fancied a change? IDK.
Dr. A-Jizzle: Riiiiiight.
Dr. M-Tizzle: So anyway, the 3 of us are sitting in Jared’s living room. Jensen and I were on the couch, and you were sitting on the floor by my legs. And then we hear this noise, and you’re like, “What is that????” So you turn the tv on mute for a second. And it’s Jared. Having sex…with Genevieve.
Dr. A-Jizzle: I thought you said this was a dream…not a nightmare.
Dr. M-Tizzle: Oh, wait. It gets better. So you and I start, like, coughing really obviously, and Jensen just kinda sits there, looking at the floor.
Dr. A-Jizzle: I’m forseeing an almighty shitfit in his future. Just sayin’.
Dr. M-Tizzle: THAT. So, we’re like ooookay, what to do? Do we console him? Pretend we never heard? Be a shoulder for him to cry on?
Dr. A-Jizzle: Fuck him better? ~Stroke~ his ego, maybe?
Dr. M-Tizzle: *bitchfacing*
Dr. A-Jizzle: What? It was just a suggestion.
Dr. M-Tizzle: So the noise gets louder and louder…
Dr. A-Jizzle: Rude.
Dr. M-Tizzle: And Jared’s like, “GEN/JEN/GEN/JEN!”…shouting her name. And she’s getting louder. And Jensen stands up, and storms upstairs. So we’re like, “Oh shit!”
Dr. A-Jizzle: *snort* Bish is about to get clotheslined.
Dr. M-Tizzle: So, we follow.
Dr. A-Jizzle: COURSE we do.
Dr. M-Tizzle: Why wouldn’t we? We’re totally involved, at this point. So anyway…he storms upstairs and barges into Jared’s room, pulls Jared out of the bed, and marches him into the next room, which is Jensen’s room. They’re right next to each other. So you and I are at the door of Jared’s room, and Gen is sat on the bed.
Dr. A-Jizzle: Wait, are they still naked?
Dr. M-Tizzle: Does it matter?
Dr. A-Jizzle: Are you fucking kidding me? Naked Jared Padalecki is always relevant to my interest.
Dr. M-Tizzle: Can I finish?
Dr. A-Jizzle: *blank stare*
Dr. M-Tizzle: Anyway, we’re like, “Sooooo… I think you should leave now.”
Dr. A-Jizzle: We givin’ orders, now? I love how we clearly run their relationships. LOL, b&.
Dr. M-Tizzle: So Gen gets her stuff and walks downstairs, and you and I go stand outside Jensen’s room.
Dr. A-Jizzle: Nosy.
Dr. M-Tizzle: The door was shut. So we slide down the door and sit, listening. And then we started, like, acting out a make up scene. We used high pitched girly voices for Jensen, and a rough Jared voice. And it was like, “Oh Jared, how COULD you? Am I not man enough for you?”
Dr. A-Jizzle: “Why Jensen, of course you are!”
Dr. M-Tizzle: Exactly. Very dramatic and gay. And we’re dying laughing. And Jared opens the door and was like, “Are you finished?” and just bitchfaced us.
Dr. A-Jizzle: LAWL. I love us.
Dr. M-Tizzle: Then we just kinda laughed at him, and carried on.
Dr. A-Jizzle: We’re so mean. And maybe brilliant.
Dr. M-Tizzle: I concur. So, then we went downstairs and watched football…REAL football, whilst the Js had sex upstairs.
Dr. A-Jizzle: But… But I’d rather watch the game going on UPstairs. Pfft. That shit beats soccer, any day.
Dr. M-Tizzle: FOOTBALL. Not soccer.
Dr. A-Jizzle: Football, soccer, biscuit, cookie, whatever… Point is, there ain’t no gettin all up in the middle of that relationship… even if Jared IS a whore. He’s Jensen’s whore. And with you and I clearly being the “Pussy Police” it would seem as though it’s now our civic duty to protect Jensen’s…assets. So, all in all, A+ teamwork all around.
~End Session~
Alright, you kids know the drill. Tell us your retarded dreams in the comments, so that we may mock you analyze them accordingly. Don’t be shy, hookers! Let it all out!
DISCLAIMER: JUST IN CASE ANYONE ISN’T AWARE, THE TWO OF US ARE CLEARLY A COUPLE OF ASSHOLES WITH A LOVE OF ALL THINGS JARED PADALECKI AND A MERE CONDESCENDING TOLERATION OF JENSEN ACKLES. ALSO, WE’RE ILLITERATE TEENAGERS. ALL THIS TIME WE THOUGHT OUR LOVE FOR JEMSEM WAS REAL. BUT APPARENTLY DREAMS DON’T LIE. JARED IS CLEARLY OUR FAVOURITE… HO-BAG TENDENCIES AND ALL. CLEARLY.
November 1, 2009 at 4:20 pm
lol wow! your dream is better than the one I had where J2 are my high school sex ed teachers and Jared proceeded to teach male anatomy naked but I had to keep my eyes closed, everyone could watch except for me :””(
November 1, 2009 at 4:32 pm
Aww! I had a teacher!Jared dream once too! He liked to pada-poke me in the back with his peen.
Did we share ever share that one?
November 1, 2009 at 4:41 pm
Why must you make me envious of you? WHY?!? That padacock poke must have been like Magic Fingers..only better
Dream on my perverted little horrr, dream on!
November 1, 2009 at 5:46 pm
WE DID NOT. I THINK THE ONLY ONE OF YOURS THAT WE’VE SHARED SO FAR (BESIDES THIS ONE) IS THE ONE WHERE THE BOYS HAD THAT HUGE TRAILER IN THE PARKING LOT AND PANABAKER WAS PEEPING THROUGH THEIR WINDOW. LAWL.
November 6, 2009 at 2:16 am
Dude! taht dream sucks… Lol
November 1, 2009 at 6:17 pm
I once dreamt that Jared raped me in an elevator. I KNOW you can’t rape the willing but it was actually quite awful!!
On a better note, I also once dreamt that Jared and I went to see JDM in an opera (which was awful) and proceded to BANG in my car. I remember Jared demanded I be on top and the entire time he kept saying how lucky I was that to be beinging him. Jared = mean?
November 1, 2009 at 6:18 pm
*banging not beinging
November 1, 2009 at 6:25 pm
i had a dream once wherein i had to play “pick the peen” with padacock, jemsem, tom welling and mikey rosenbaum. i had to figure which peen belonged to which wb (not cw, cause hello, old school here) star.
jared’s peen was the biggest (obviously) with a dimple and floppy pubes.
jemsem’s peen had freckles and was a little curved, much like his bowed legs.
welling’s peen was long and thin and had an ’s’ tattoo on it
and rosey’s peen was foreskin-fee (being jewish and all) and was looking a like he’d once shaved his pubes but was making an attempt to grow them back.
tell me, ladies… what does this mean?
November 2, 2009 at 9:44 am
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES. YES. YES.
“..with a dimple and floppy pubes.”
I’ve gotta find a way to work that into one of my conversations in RL. Just gotta. Or work it into one of my stories (not fanfic) or maybe write a poem. I think poem is a GO.
November 1, 2009 at 7:03 pm
i do not have a dream to share. but, i just wanted to say that i DID NOT NEED THAT MENTAL IMAGE OF SEX WITH GEN – EW. i like girls… love them, in fact. i am very fond of and acquainted with girly bits and that’s just… DNW. EVER. but then, i guess it’s good it wasn’t elta or anything, y/y?
*sprays lysol*
November 2, 2009 at 1:21 am
*gives you high five…….TWICE*
shit, frankly i wish i never had such a dream or i’ll spend the rest of the day trying to find a way to kill myself (or trying to find a way NOT to), or shut my brains out (by drinking myself senseless)….
i am glad in real life she might not even get a kiss ON THE LIPS!! haha… but still… *prays to not ever dream of THAT!*
HAPPY LATE HALLOWEEN, …. i guess that’s what LOL
November 2, 2009 at 12:41 pm
+1
this is even worse than a dream I had not a very long time ago (not a very long time to forget it blissfully, that is) that Jensen has received some kind of a cinema award and he thanked his beloved girlfriend and then Danneel rushed on stage from the back row, showing the people on her way away and she JUMPED on stage right into Jensen’s arms, and he dropped the award (it was A Golden Globe or smthg). It broke and Jensen wept as she kept kissing him…
BARF.
But then I also had a dream when Jensen came out on Russian TV and declared he also gave up smoking. Brave guy, I thought.
November 1, 2009 at 8:35 pm
“A MERE CONDESCENDING TOLERATION OF JENSEN ACKLES.”
LIES *shakes accusing finger of accusation atchoo* LIES AND FUCKERY!!
I know you both wanna go full cowgirl on Jemsem. But you are afeert that Jerrud would find you and bend you into anatomically impossible pretzel shapes that even Misha couldn’t get you out of *coughPLOWcough*
mmmm. . .. . .plow. . . . .
Where was I?
Oh yes, full cowgirling the pretty bastard. . . .
mmmmm.. . . .full cowgirl. . .
What the fuck was I talking about?
November 1, 2009 at 8:43 pm
I DUNNO. BUT CONTINUE…
SOMETHING ABOUT JEMSEM AND A PRETZEL.
AAAAND GO!
November 1, 2009 at 10:48 pm
mmmmm. . . .. jemsem and pretzels. Jemsem, jerrud and pretzels. Misha can bring mustard.
Now I am confused, horny and hungry.
November 2, 2009 at 9:40 am
Now this is my kinda conversation! *crazy grin* Please do continue.
November 1, 2009 at 9:00 pm
I still have dreams of them going skinny dipping and having their clothes stolen by racoons. They must then walk slowly to the Impala, then they spread gooey, warm pecan pie all over their bodies and proceed to lick it off, slowly. I am, of course, filming all of this, and wondering if I should share the beautiful moments and bits. Gooey warm pecan covered bits.
November 1, 2009 at 11:07 pm
The only dream I had of them was many months ago, which you guise didn’t analyze.
Jared and Jensen were on some sort of white sound stage thingy. There were dress in go-go boots and plastic mini dresses. The dresses were see thru around the waist. Jensen’s dress was orange and Jared’s was yellow. They both wore sixties-ish wigs and were dancing (the twist, mash potato or that swimming one). They were filming a music video I think. Yeah…weird.
/ But actually, kinda cute.
November 2, 2009 at 5:11 am
i dreamt i was living with the two. Jensen was making breakfast and jared was still asleep. So anywhoo, i was in my boxers and tank top and jensen told me to wake jared up for breakfast so i head upstairs and go into jareds room and shake him awake. He peeks over the covers and smirked, which was hot and creepy all at once, and then pulled me under the covers with him then said: “You made a big mistake coming into my room dressed like that” and then my bro woke me up…. i was both happy and pissed off
November 3, 2009 at 7:41 pm
BEST. DREAM. EVER.
November 21, 2009 at 8:29 pm
I agree! lol naughty boy!
November 21, 2009 at 8:34 pm
oh it was and he was.lol… if only my bro didnt wake me up! :’(
November 2, 2009 at 8:35 am
My dream was that I was searching throughout the loonybin they filmed Asylum in, because Jared had gone bananas, ape, and a good deal other things that have nothing to do with monkeys.
So I’m searching for him and all of a sudden, Jensen joins me in the search. So, my attention is torn between ‘holy crapz, must find Jarrred!’ to ‘holy crapz, wanna shag Jemsem!’
Eventually we find him, arms around his knees and rocking back and forth, muttering something. Jensen starts stroking his hair and I’m cuddling him (because the cuddle-age of Jared Padalecki is on my bucket list) and he goes stiff. *giggles* He tilts his head and stares at me, then points behind me. I turn and see Danneel standing there wearing some white flowy dress. Knowing this means her imminent death, I am sad, but resolved to find out what’s going on with the men. Jensen has shifted to one knee and is proposing to Jared.
The proposal is accepted, they hug like they usually do (sex standing up), and apparently Danneel is there to gay marry me, because I’m suddenly wearing a flowy white dress too. Rosey is the minister and he’s wearing an asshat (literally). Then I woke up.
What does this all mean? Am I destined to gay marry Danneel in a double ceremony with the boys? Because if so, I need to start picking out china patterns.
November 2, 2009 at 4:17 pm
All I have is that CMM dream still.
My subconscious is obviously not wired for J2.
November 5, 2009 at 7:49 am
I keep having dreams where I’m just somewhere really normal and boring and either talking to or watching J2 (and sometimes Kripke) talking about random shit. One time I lectured them for hours to come out of the damn closet already, and another time Jensen was pouring his heart out to Kripke that he didn’t want Jared to have a threesome with Misha and his wifeth…WTF O_O
November 5, 2009 at 6:07 pm
LOLOLOL COME ON YOU GUISE. YOU WERE ONLY DREAMING OF JEMSEM’S FEARS AGAIN.
TELL HIM ALL HE HAS TO DO IS TELL THE JABBERWOCKY “I DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU! I DON’T BELIEVE IN YOU!” AND THE NASTY HET DREAM WILL GO AWAY.
JARRUD WOULD NEVAR EVAR CHEAT ON HIM, HE KNOOOOOWWWSSS THAT.
EXCEPT, OF COURSE, IN HIS DREAMS.
November 6, 2009 at 2:24 am
Ok i read this dreams of you and i think i wont tell mine, too much rated R…
November 12, 2009 at 1:31 am
My only J2 dream was a pretty decent one. It was set in like a theme park or something where there was gonna be a con thee next day, but there was also like this outdoor mall type area. J2 and their friends joked about buying me presents. Then for some reason I left them and was shoping with Danneel and her friends, but Danneel was kind of ignoring me (I actually like her fine, so don’t know what’s up with that), so I left and found the boys again. Just J2 and me ended up lying down together on this outside stage type thing, but it was comfortable, and there wasn’t anyone else around cause I think pretty much everyone else had gone or were somewhere else. And we just lay there talking and laughing, and they were majorly flirty with each other, but in the dream it didn’t make me uncomfortable since I was right there, it was more like they were turned on by the fact that I was watching. Hee, yes. High point of the dream though was me touching Jensen’s abs as he laughed. Omg, it’s something to experience, even if just in dreamland. And the boys were so warm and comfy. *sigh* I want this dream again with minor adjustments.
I also had a Misha dream where he was my professor, and he taught in the back of an auditorium, lol. I don’t know what he was a professor of, but I remember that the class was made up of only people with crushes on him. XD The rest of the dream was super weird. It involved fighting this monster that could transform into a bunch of different things with my sister, and there were these weird pits people kept falling in, lol. Would have been much better if it had just been MishaMishaMisha.