The Road So Far: 5×07

This is a non!RXN post!!

Why?

Cuz I didn’t watch the farking episode.

Well…not in its entirety, anyway.  I WANTED to watch the episode. I mean. I TRIED to.  But Jensen and Jared made it a tad difficult, seeing as how they decided to stop by the J-Box and then proceeded to have sex all over the place.  Jerks. They’re so distracting sometimes.

Jensen Ackles: She likes ME, dumbass. Go home.
Jedi: I WANT MORE
ShannonPrice: Holy hell….
Jared Padalecki: Sorry Jedi, Jensen tag teamed you OUT
Jedi: JENSEN DOESN’T WANT TO GIVE ME ANY LOVE TONIGHT SO JARED’S ALL MINE
BOOKIE: LOL JEDI
Jedi: YOU BITCHES
BOOKIE: YOU GOT COCKBLOCK BY JEMSEM
Jensen Ackles: I WILL CLOTHESLINE THE NEXT BITCH THAT COMES AT MY MAN.
Jensen Ackles: I AM NOT BULLSHITTIN.
Jedi: RUNNING AT JENSEN
BOOKIE: *RUBS MY TITS ALL OVER JARED’S FACE*
Jared Padalecki: *shaking booty at y’all*
ShannonPrice: LOL! Too much LMAO
Jensen Ackles: *KNOCKING PUSSY OUT LEFT AND RIGHT*
Jedi: JARED, CAN I BOUNCE QUARTERS OFF YOUR ASS
Jared Padalecki: Yes
BOOKIE: JARED, CAN I MESS WITH YOUR HAIR?
Jedi: YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD KNOCK ME OUT
Jensen Ackles: NO!!! NO BOUNCING QUARTERS!!!
Jedi: BEND OVER THEN JARED
Jared Padalecki: Yes, yes bouncing quarters
BOOKIE: CAN I ALSO TOUCH YOUR MANBOOBS?
Jensen Ackles: NO!!!
Jared Padalecki: *grabbing ankles*
Jensen Ackles: NO BOOBS!!!!
Jensen Ackles: *GRABBING JARED BY THE NECK AND SLAMMING HIM AGAINST THE WALL*
Jared Padalecki: UNF!
Jedi: *SHAKING THE TWINS AT JENSEN AGAIN*
Jensen Ackles: MINE!
Jared Padalecki: You gonna manhandle me, Ackles?
BOOKIE: SHUT THE FUCKUP AND LEARN HOW TO SHARE JENSEN ACKLES
Jensen Ackles: I FUCKING OWN YOU, PADALECKI. AND YOU BETTER START ACTING LIKE IT.
Jensen Ackles: *LICKS JARED’S NECK*
BOOKIE: OHHHHHHHH
Jared Padalecki: *pushes you off of me*
Jensen Ackles: YOU FEELING LIKE A TOPPY BASTARD TONIGHT, JARED?
Jared Padalecki: No, just playing hard to get.
Jared Padalecki: Shannon, you are denied until you choose.
Jensen Ackles: UNF! *RUBS HANDS DOWN YOUR BACK AND INTO THE BACK OF YOUR PANTS*
ShannonPrice: WHATS WRONG WITH A J&J SANDWICH?
Jared Padalecki: I’m not that type of girl, Ackles.
BOOKIE: Jensen doesn’t liek to share, Shannon
Jensen Ackles: THE HELL YOU AREN’T
Jedi: JENSEN IS A SELFISH BITCH
Jensen Ackles: WHAT OF IT, JEDI?
Jared Padalecki: You gonna show me?
Jensen Ackles: SHOW YOU WHAT, EXACTLY?
Jensen Ackles: WHAT IS IT YOU WANNA SEE, PADALECKI?
Jared Padalecki: Your face when you fuck me.
Jensen Ackles: ONLY IF YOU ASK ME NICELY. NOW GET ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES.
Jared Padalecki: Please.
Jensen Ackles: PLEASE…WHAT?
Jared Padalecki: *Nuzzles down your body*
Jared Padalecki: *on knees, looking up at you*
Jensen Ackles: ASK ME FOR IT
Jared Padalecki: Give it to me.
Jensen Ackles: TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.

LOL, you see what you miss when you don’t RSVP to the party, kids? *smh at them* Tards.

~~~~~

Anyway… based on what I do recall,  just a couple of things.  First of all, this:

I know Jensen Ackles is old as dirt at 31 y/o, but seriously…he’s not old enough to be shrinking, quite yet.  Therefore, judging by this photo, I can only deduce that Jared Padalecki is still a growing boy at the tender age of 27.  In fact…I think he may JUST now be hitting his growth spurt.  Although, ngl, I suspect there’s a bit of sibling rivalry going on here between Jared and Jeff.

Dear Jared-

You’re never going to be as tall as your brother.  It’s just not in the cards for you, kid.  You should probably stop growing, now.  It’s getting out of control.  6′5″ is quite tall enough.  And I’d imagine that if you get any taller, it’s gonna be very difficult for Jensen Genevieve Gensen to kiss you, seeing as how your face is already ridiculously too far off the ground.

Srsly, Sir.  Just…stop.

~~~~~

Let’s see. What else?

Is it just me or are the guest stars on this show outshining the main cast this season?  Hot DAYUM that leprechaun would get it.  Everyday of the week and thrice on Sundays.  UNF!!

And he clearly gets bonus points for giving Sam the clap…

A+ fuckery.  I approve of this.  Very much so.  Although, rumor has it, Dean-o’s pissed…cuz this means he ain’t gettin’ any for at least a week.  Good thing he was too old to get it up, in this ep.  Otherwise that coulda been life-ruining.  Just sayin.

~~~~~

Other than that, I really have no idea wtf happened this episode.  I’ve got no critique of any character developments or lack thereof.  So here, have a picspam of Jensen’s stupid face:

You, sir…are ridiculous.  Nnnnnnnggggghhhhhh.

*licks him*

~~~~~

CREDIT: ALL SCREENCAPS FROM OXONIENSIS AND ALL GIFS FROM VT_GRAPHICS AND RANDOM ONTD PARTAY  POSTS.

DISCLAIMER: AS ALWAYS, KUDOS TO JARED PADALECKI’S HAIR FOR A DAMN FINE PERFORMANCE.  AND MAYBE HIS FACE. MAYBE.   ALSO, JENSEN MAY HAVE ONLY BEEN ONSCREEN FOR ALL OF 2 SECONDS, BUT THE MAN’S NOSE CLEARLY DESERVES AN EMMY.  TOO BAD IT’LL NEVER HAPPEN. FOR SHAME.  ALSO, APPARENTLY SAM&DEAN SHOULD PLAY CARDS IN EVERY EPISODE, CUZ FOR SOME REASON, THEY BOTH LOOKED HOT AS FUCK SITTING AT THAT TABLE WITH THE SEXASS LEPRECHAUN. IN OTHER NEWS, IN ADDITION TO BANNING “JENSEN AND JARED” FROM THURSDAY NIGHT ORGIES, I’M ALSO GOING TO HAVE TO ASK BOOKIE AND JEDI TO REFRAIN FROM SEXXING EACH OTHER IN THE JBOX FROM NOW ON WHENEVER SHOW IS ON, AS IT’S PREVENTING ME FROM WATCHING THE EPISODES PROPERLY. AND TBQH, I’M TOO LAZY TO GO BACK AND REWATCH THE SHIT NAO. PSHH. WHO CBA WITH THAT??

AS FOR THE REST OF YOUSE…WHAT’D I MISS? IMO, ANY EPISODE THAT’S RETARDED!ANGEL FREE GETS AN AUTOMATIC A. *SHRUG*