Awww, shit y’all. It’s finally here! No, not the ~other~ J2’s wedding anniversary… Oh, no… it’s time for SHOW’s annual “Let’s Make Fun of Fandumb Day!” which happens to be my favorite day of the year.  Too bad the same shit happens every season… I build up how I think the episode is gonna go in my head only for it to end up being lame as fuck. Still mildly entertaining…but lame. My problem with these episodes is that they tip-toe along the ledge of that fourth wall, but never quite go kamikaze. If you ask fandumb, they’ll tell you SHOW’s gone apeshit and they’re bulldozing that wall & telling normal people all our business, how dare they!

Yeah, no.

Once…just ONCE, I would love to see Ben Edlund just strap some Halloween fairy wings to his back and fucking jump.  If you’re gonna mock, then do it right. Balls to the wall or go home.

Since I’m pretty sure this episode is gonna leave me just as unimpressed and underwhelmed as the Con episode (still wondering WTAF that was), let me tell you how this episode SHOULD go…

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Talent Show!

February 18, 2011

It’s a Free For All Friday, y’all!!

You’ll need a 6 pack, a giant body condom, and two asshats by the name of Jason Eckols and Jarrod Padalicki.

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Previously in Con Etiquette, we thought we’d seen it all when Clif Kosterman was granted his very own Q&A panel. Just when we thought things couldn’t possibly get any more ridiculous, it looks like Creation Entertainment has decided to make fandumb look even more desperate and psycho than usual by hiking up the prices of tickets for Jensen’s and Jared’s appearances to the equivalent of their salaries…and actually watching us PAY for this shit!


We don’t look ridiculous at all.

So, anyway. In an effort to get us to spend even more of our money in this booming economy, they’ve decided to up the ante by watching us go batshit over tickets to see Jensen performing live with JManns in concert. The going rate these days? $1551.99. God, Jason probably thinks Christmas came early this year.

I bet Christina Aguilera’s never sold a single concert ticket for that price. Then again, I’m assuming Jason knows all the words to his songs.

Anyway, if 60+ people are gonna drop that kinda cash for this shit, then Goddammit, they should be able make song requests with a 100% guarantee or their money back, that Jason and Jensen will sing whatever they’re told to sing.  For that kind of money, they should be proper fucking dancing monkeys.

For that kind of money, I should be allowed to sit on Jensen Ackles’ face.

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Dirty Secret: Vol 4.0

August 4, 2010

Group Therapy is now in session, kids. It’s time for another round of Dirty Secrets.  As always, this is your one chance to say what you mean and mean what you say. Just try not to get us sued. Secrets can be SPN related or not. J2 related or not. Personal or not. Anything goes.

We’ll go first!

Let’s see how much things have not changed in a year…

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Hey! You guys remember when Jensen and Jared used to be awesome?

Nerds or ladykillers?

Jensen: Nerd! The word alone is funny.

Jared: Also nerd! Although, people used to say I looked like Matt Damon, now-a-days, sometimes people say I look like Brad Pitt.

Jensen: Yeah, you wish!

Jared: But this is a bit of a tough choice. Who says about himself that he’s a nerd? Or a ladykiller? If that’s the case, you should take your pee to the doctor immediately.

Jensen: Of course we notice the hardcore group of female fans who follow us. It’s extremely flattering, but not something that we concern ourselves with. Just as we don’t wonder which one of us is the most popular. In the first place, the success of Supernatural lies in the story. That doesn’t take away the fact that Jared’s uglier than me and can’t act as well, of course. He can’t help it.

Yeah. I miss it, too.

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Hot off the rumour mill, which gorgeous TV star is reportedly refusing to be seen in public with his fashion challenged co-star – not because of their recent marriages, but because of his best friend’s bad style choices? The equally hot duo used to be very comfortable in each others’ company, but now this wardrobe loving hunk even goes so far as to arrive at the airport an hour early to avoid being photographed with his fashion oblivious friend. If that wasn’t harsh enough, this well dressed wannabe was noticeably absent at last night’s Comic Con party, leaving Fashion Faux-pas to do their promo duties solo, and take along his wife as his date instead.  Not that she was complaining. Apparently, she loves the way her hipster cowboy dresses. Or maybe she just likes it when he finally takes it off at the end of the night?

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Eye Candygram: Vol. 2.8

July 19, 2010

It’s Big Daddy’s birfday, yo!

My, how the years have flown by. No, rly. Didn’t he JUST have a birthday, like last week? Anyway, as is tradition round these parts, we like to take this time to impart some wisdom that may help Jared along in certain aspects of his life as he’s well on his way to becoming old as dirt.

Now, seeing as how The Padalecki is hell-bent on becoming a hot shit action hero or something, we want to do all that we can to encourage him to keep looking for that perfect pointless re-make, so that he, too, can one day be this famous.

Some day, Jarrud. Someday.

I think the problem, here, is that perhaps he’s not as open to other genres as he should be. He seems to be all about gaining 50 pounds and beating the shit out of someone. Not that I disapprove. I just think that he should consider other options. And seeing as how there are only about 5 original thoughts left in Hollywood & 4 of them belong to Todd Farmer, we’ve compiled a list of movies that absolutely don’t need to be re-made for Jared Padalecki to consider auditioning for, for when they are, in fact, re-made. In 3-D. For no apparent reason…

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